As a first-generation American, I get really excited when I have white-people problems or when I realize that I’m doing something especially pretentious. Yet it wasn’t until I was sitting here in my campus library, reading formal logic theory on a Mac OS X whilst listening to Gabriel Faure and sipping free-trade coffee with soymilk, that I realized how many such exciting experiences Amherst College has been affording me. (Maybe I’m getting used to feeling priviledged! ;D)

Anyways, I feel it necessary to thank Amherst College. Not only does it fill its students’ lives with cushy pleasures (ie. foam hand sanitizer in every building), but it uses its endowment charitably enough to give lower-middle class Americans like myself the opportunity to share in these cushy pleasures. Fast facts:

• AC makes a $200,000 annual investment in “energy conservation projects” including the “Vending Miser,” which magically “senses people near the vending machine and turns it on in anticipation of its being used.”
• AC “meets the full demonstrated need of every admitted student,” which means that they meet the need that they think you have. So benevolent of them, taking the time to determine and then to tell me what my needs are.
• Economic diversity—58% of students receive financial aid. That means only 42 % are actually paying $58,494-$60,944 annually. It’s like going to school in a whirlwind of social classes! 

Yay Amherst.